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Its a Lesbian Thing


I have gotten a lot of questions lately (on my Facebook ironically, where few of you can share in the conversation) asking me why I never talk about being a lesbian on my blog. I guess it is time to bite the bullet and address the “Lesbian Issue.” Yes, I am a lesbian. I have a beautiful wife who makes my whole world go round. I am not trying to make any particular secret of this—in fact if you follow my twitter @beccatheblogger, it is basically impossible not to know that I am a lesbian. I am not ashamed of this fact about myself; in many ways I wish I did more to speak out about the issues facing the gay community, BUT THIS IS NOT A BLOG ABOUT BEING A LESBAIN. This is a blog written by a lesbian. My experiences as a lesbian will sometimes come up in our online heart-to-hearts, but only as an experience that applies to the non-lesbian discussion we are having. I don’t walk around in lesbian shoes, I don’t eat lesbian lunch, and I don’t want a lesbian career—I want a rewarding career. If that happens to overlap with my lesbian life, awesome, but I do not define my character by my sexual orientation. It is a fact about me, like: I am white, I am short, and I come from Oklahoma. There is no sense hiding it, even if I wanted to (for the record I have no desire to hide it), but being a lesbian is not the only thing—or even the critical thing—going on in my life. If you want to learn all about my life as a lesbian, pick up the October issue of Curve magazine. They are doing a story all about me and my wife, and our struggles as lesbians. If you have no interest in the magazine, write me an email and I will talk to you for hours all about the subject. But please don’t let the fact that I am a lesbian eclipse the real purpose of this blog. It drives me crazy that—the second people find out about my sexuality—the lesbian issue becomes the only thing that matters about me. I AM A REAL PERSON, and regardless of whom I love, my life still probably looks 98% like yours. I sleep just like you, I eat just like you, and I share many of the same fears and insecurities as you. Sometimes I feel like I am an unwitting circus lady, relegated to being a sideshow fascination to every new person I meet. Be curious! Ask me questions—I don’t mind! In exchange for my honesty though, please try to see that I am a real person behind the one major fascinating fact about my lifestyle. Ok, end rant. Thanks for hearing me out. 

About beccatheblogger

I am Rebecca Holliman, the author and editor of the blog Becca the Blogger. To learn more about me, click on the "Meet Becca" page of this site.

4 responses »

  1. You’re a terrific person. I don’t know when the shift happened, where people had to put a label on everything to make it fit. Thank you for biting the bullet;)

  2. I totally love this post! I’ve just started following you recently (thanks to the advocate article) and will be reading older posts soon but this one really stood out because I was just thinking the same thing yesterday! My partner (of 11 years) and I were having dinner with some friends last night. It seemed like every other sentence was about gay people/us being gay/lesbian whatever and I love that they are accepting and supportive but was a little uncomfortable with their need to focus on our sexuality allllllll night! It seems like once people know I’m gay, that’s the only thing interesting about me! Was glad to hear I’m not the only one this happens to. I suppose though that I’d rather have it this way than not be able to share my love so I guess it’s all part of the growing pains. But it gets old. Ok, off my soapbox now! Thanks again for sharing your post. :)

    • Ironically, right after I wrote that, I got a bunch of opportunities to write for LGBT publications and a bunch of people from the LGBT community following my blog and twitter, so I am having a bit more trouble keeping the blog about my work life, my personal life, and my work about my personal life separate…Not that I am complaining. I get to write about a subject that I am passionate about. Who could ask for more? Thanks for the support!


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